Lindsey’s Daily Deal: Turtles Schmurtles, Odes to Ethanol and Smiling for Ice Cream

By Lindsey Campbell, Captains of Industry

Hey Captains’ Readers,

Here’s your Friday Deal:

1. Turtles Schmurtles

We all know that the Gulf oil spill is an economical and ecological catastrophe. But it’s difficult to grasp just how traumatic this spill actually is unless you see it every single day. Mike Ellis, a boat captain who’s currently working for the Coast Guard to rescue Kemp’s Ridleys, the most endangered turtles in the world, explains in an interview by Catherine Craig that BP is actually preventing his team and others from saving and protecting these turtles. Like BP hasn’t already created enough PR problems for themselves.

According to Ellis, shrimp boats have been towing booms to collect the oil on the Gulf’s surface. Once they’ve rounded up the oil, they set it on fire so it’ll burn away. The only problem is, the Kemp’s Ridleys have been getting caught in the booms, and BP isn’t allowing Ellis and his team to retrieve the animals. So, essentially these turtles not only had to be doused with oil, but they’re going to be burned alive as well. And to add insult to injury, Ellis reports that BP is cutting the animal rescue efforts short because they’re getting in the way of their “progress.”

Way to be, BP. Way-to-be.

2. Tell the Middle East where they can ship their tankers

POET, the world’s largest ethanol producer, has come out with a new commercial campaign that puts their rhyming skills to the test. The spot, “Hero,” features a POET scientist reciting a poem in the middle of Times Square in New York City. She explains in perfect iambic pentameter how she’ll make a difference to reduce the United States’ dependency on foreign oil. Or, check out “Fuel Field.” This spot reminds viewers that U.S. motorists actually get more fuel from ethanol than Saudi Arabian oil. For their first national campaign, POET managed to hit a homerun.

3. Will smile for ice cream

Unilever wants people to smile. But, they know that in these troubled times (war, ecological destruction, economical ruin—you know, the usual) most won’t do it willingly, so they created a machine with facial recognition technology that when smiled at, will dispense a delicious ice cream treat. I’d say these people got off easy. All you have to do is lift your lips and you get a Good Humor? I would do a lot more for a frozen dessert than just flash my pearly whites. I’m just sayin’.

Until Monday my good readers,

Captain Lindsey