By Lindsey Campbell, Captains of Industry
Hey Captains’ readers,
Here’s your Monday Deal:
1. Fasten your seat belts, stow your tray tables and make sure Grandma isn’t streaking
While you’re waiting for a piece of physics-defying machinery to roll its 870,000 pound body down a runway and launch you 35,000 feet into the air, it’s easy to ignore what the nice flight attendants tell you to do “in case” that piece of machinery decides to all of a sudden plummet out of the sky and hurtle to the ground. In fact, the first thing I do when I step on an airplane is say a little prayer, pop some Bubblicious in my mouth and plug into my iPod until I hear the wheels hit the tarmac again. Just listening to the shpeel about oxygen masks and inflatable life preservers conveniently located under my seat is enough to give me the willies. And I’m not alone. There aren’t a whole lot of air passengers who want to listen to all the reasons why they shouldn’t have fought their instinct to stay grounded. However, Air New Zealand found a way to not only make sure people listened to their new pre-flight safety briefing video, but that they relaxed and laughed a bit as well. The video stars All Black, New Zealand’s star rugby team, and a plane full of All Black fans. Not only does the video get across all the necessary safety information, but it also has a streaking grandma collecting high fives down the aisle before takeoff. I call that a great piece of content.
Would you pay attention to this video before takeoff?
2. Whip ‘em out! It’s what your knockers are for.
After watching this new web video for Natural Breastfeeding Month, I don’t think guys will ever be able to truly appreciate a decent set of fun bags the same way again. Why? Well, for this PSA, celebrities like Kelly Rutherford, Lisa Loeb and Ali Landry talk about the practical uses for knockers, rather than the fun ones.
The purpose of the video is to encourage expectant moms to consider breastfeeding their children, not just for the bonding experience, but for economic and medical reasons as well. Landry explains that if more mothers breastfed their children, the U.S. would save 13 billion dollars per year on healthcare costs. If money doesn’t sway you, according to the mothers in the video, breast milk is packed with disease-fighting substances that basically immunize your little buddle of joy from scary diseases like obesity and cancer. And if you’re STILL not sold, breast-feeding makes you SKINNY. I’m talking 500 calories a day, ladies. So, if you’re currently with child and you’re debating whether you should use formula or the real deal, check out this web video or go to TheBump.com for more information.
After all, it’s what your melons are for.
3. My pain is your gain
When I was a teenager, my usual punishment for missing curfew or throwing expletives like grenades was the typical two-week grounding. The thing about this punishment that tended to backfire on my poor parents, however, was that I usually punished everyone else right along with me. Foot stomping, door slamming and the silent treatment were my weapons of choice, and boy, did they do the trick. My surly attitude reverberated through whatever room I touched, and inevitably, I ended up making everyone suffer with me. If I had to endure a punishment, so did everyone else. But recently, the father of a disobedient teenager in Texas decided to kick his disciplinary skills up a notch. Rather than condemning his curfew-breaking teenage daughter to solitary confinement, he forced her to create an ad about herself in their local newspaper. The ad read, “My name is Kirstin and I’m a 16-year-old CSHS junior. I’m in BIG trouble for missing my curfew and my parents are making me provide 30 hours of FREE babysitting as punishment. My pain is your gain.” I don’t know if she’ll get many takers, as most parents want a combination of Mother Teresa and Mr. Rogers to baby-sit their child, but she might just get a job in the ad game one day. Keep your eyes peeled.
Until tomorrow,
Captain Lindsey
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