Lindsey’s Daily Deal: The Ultimate Quick Fix, I Hate Steven Singer and Life Lessons From True Blood

By Lindsey Campbell, Captains of Industry

Hey Captains’ readers,

Here’s your Wednesday Deal:

1. The ultimate quick fix

As Americans, we have hard work and discipline hardwired into our systems. According to our forefathers, the harder you work, the better the payoff. Which means more money, a bigger house, and ultimately, a better life. But sometimes, just sometimes, the possibility of a shortcut can be so tempting that resistance can be futile. The latest quick fix sweeping the nation of “a little hard work never killed anyone”? Butt-toning shoes. Reebok’s EasyTone sneakers claim that they can firm both legs and butts without the wearer even having to break a sweat.

To me, this promise is almost cruel. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that any woman with a pair of legs would find even the mere suggestion of a kickass ass intoxicating. But there’s one brand in town that doubts that even one dimple of cellulite will disappear after a stroll in these shoes, the ultimate athletic powerhouse, Nike. Despite the recent spurt in sales for slacker sneakers, Nike has decided to stick by their brand and continue to voice the importance of working hard and playing hard. In fact, they recently kicked off a new print ad campaign that takes the supposed toning shoes head on. The ads feature Nike’s new Air Max Trainer Ones. They claim that they’re the ultimate quick fix, the only catch is, the shoe only works if you do. Oh snap!

I’m inclined to agree with Nike. What do you think?

2. I hate Steven Singer!

There are a lot of people you just gotta hate. People who dress their dogs like humans. Those who don’t flush the toilet. Ladies who wear 8 gallons of perfume. And my personal favorite, teenage girls who talk loudly on their cell phones on the D line. You know who you are. You love John. He doesn’t love you. Get over it already. But there’s one person that almost every guy hates—Steven Singer. Why? Well, according to his advertising, women love his jewelry so much, that the men in their lives end up in complicated situations, like marriage and fatherhood, after giving their lady loves a nice piece of Singer bling. Pretty funny stuff.  According to David Burn of Ad Pulp, the I Hate Steven Singer ads have been so successful because it’s one of the first jewelry campaigns that target men. After perusing their website, I even found apps for guys on how they can buy themselves more time before popping the question and how they can begin to adjust from having a little black book to buying a little black box. This campaign is genius.

What do you think, guys? Would you purchase a Steven Singer over a Tiffany’s?

3. Life Lessons from True Blood

This is why I love Digg. I would have never came across this article by Hollywood.com if it weren’t for that lovely site.

OK. That was my meager attempt to connect this next post to something to do with marketing. How did I do? Hey, sometimes we all just need to have a little fun, so all of you stick-in-the-muds that are looking for another tidbit of marketing news, you’ll just have to indulge yourselves for a spell. That was Sookie Stackhouse speak for, “This is just for fun, so get over it.” Anyway, Natalie Silverman over at Hollywood.com recently wrote eleven life lessons we can all get from watching True Blood on HBO. Check out my top three favorites:

2. Use Reliable Birth Control: It’s important to protect yourself, in all situations. You never know when you’ll have to go to a huge mystical orgy.

6. Don’t Have One-Night Stands: A night out can be a lot of fun, but keep in mind that the nice guy you take home might end up being a murderous psychopath. Or Jason Stackhouse.

11. Do Not Date Sookie Stackhouse: We don’t care how good her blood tastes, that girl is a supernatural drama magnet. It’s not worth it.

When will those supes learn?

Until tomorrow,

Captain Lindsey